1. Sling Blade (1996)

Sling Blade is in my top ten movies of all time, regardless of genre or era. It is a simple movie and goes at a small-town pace. It's sad. It's funny. It's spiritual. I've seen it at least four maybe more times in full. If it comes on, I gotta stick. Every scene is worthwhile. I'm starting this "blog" with a sure thing... [someone please come up with a new word for it, i fucking hate the internet, i know that is what it's called at this point, but... still, really? The word "blog" makes me feel like i am writing and it's turning into weird purple snot from people who are "bloggers" and dripping all in my nether-regions]... if you, at all, enjoy watching very talented people pretend to be other people and get paid a buttmonkey for it, Sling Blade will not disappoint. Billy Bob's a pro.

Who: Billy Bob Thornton wrote it, starred in it and directed it. Karl (Thornton) is a character like none other I have ever seen. You can bet Thornton just started acting weird one day and just took it all the way; the vibe of Karl, few characters needed, story of a simple man.

The acting is great. Even the little boy (see the trailer above) is excellent. Very often those kids ruin these types of movies. He's right on. Someone find out where he's at and hand him a guitar.

Takes place in a small town in the South. Great accents, there ain't nothin to do but sit at the lake.

"Not funny ha ha, funny queer."

"I reckon I like them french-fried potaters mmmhmmm."

Very often I think the movies that finish the cleanest, ride the best, and overall feel the most uniformly presented are those that are -- in a lot of ways -- a one man show. For this, Thornton gives us the rare triple threat. I know Mel Gibson Directed and Starred in Braveheart (but did not write it), and that movie is excellent. When one man is really in charge and always the known lead, the presentation can almost be more of a cartoon -- not in any kind of negative way. Thornton so clearly stars in this and the movie is presented at such an even keel, working up so warmly like you're meeting your new family and you have a kind-of-slow-working brain, that Thornton can speak so softly and put his words in real time, not line-delivery in the least. He can pause long. He is not competing for oxygen with George Clooney. The movie is more like one image from one page in the director's head (ie: the Matrix) and less like 1000 people talking all at once, sort of screaming-with-their-eyebrows about whose character you should be talking about after it's all over and the plot has "twisted" fucking "mad" times. (Some Coen Brother's movies do this sort of famous people orgy thing. and i ain't hatin, just sayin.)

Anyway I havent slept so I'm rambling.

Bill Bob plays the mission control guy in Armageddon, which is a great flick all around. Tear jerker, on the real, and Steve Buscemi's supporting role steals the show (as usual).

If you like Sling Blade, try Fargo, another one set in a rural town, but this time in...Wisconsin i believe? Wherever they talk like "Oh Gawsh Gawlly Gee Dontcha Know there aye Margey?"

hmmm. brains shot. I'll add more later. Nobody cheat and use IMDB! I didn't! Except for the trailer! The point of this is to connect shit based on gut, not genre.

I think I may have just done this the exact way I didn't want to?

I don't know. if you are reading this, see Sling Blade. I own it on DVD, come borrow it.

WHAT TO DO

ALEC of LAND

p.s. email me if you'd like to review anything you want. post any comments you'd like. let me know how this is to read. pop popcorn and then throw it at women on bicycles screaming "fuck helmets you bitch!" i dont care. we can do whatever we want, it's great. go see Inglorious Basterds. best Tarantino film yet, and i dont mean that lightly.